Conrad Black is a complete joke. He is a disgraced former felon, pardoned by reality tv star and former President of the United States Donald Trump. He also appears in the deceased billionaire child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein’s black book multiple times. They probably went bowling together or something. Conrad Black is also the founder of the National Post. He is to blame for the voice of quite possibly the worst newspaper and newspaper chain in this goofy country. His papers are the reason so many of our favourite ghouls have a place to manufacture consent and act as counter culture icons for wanting to return to a state of neo-Feudalism. It’s important to note that although he doesn’t own the papers anymore, as Hollinger imploded (lol), he cursed us forever by having the National Post’s voice sound similar to his own. If you have never read a Conrad Black column, you are luckier than you know. With a Conrad column not only do you have to wrestle with a terrible, bigoted opinion that is completely detached from reality, but you have to read it in Conrad’s voice. Nobody has ever sounded so simultaneously arrogant and boring at the same time. His views are insipid, and we’re all stuck with them. Thankfully, nobody really thinks much of Conrad Black, but he's still around writing his absolutely useless columns.

Rex Murphy is a complete joke. He likes to position himself as a voice of reason, then present laughable ideas hidden behind ridiculous word choices and allusions to greek mythology. Rex doesn't think climate change is a real thing. That for sure has nothing to do with the fact Rex has been paid by oil and gas companies to be a keynote speaker at their events. Fun.

Rex has a habit of publishing stupid contrarian views at absolutely ridiculous times. During the worldwide protests after George Floyd's murder, he wrote a column titled "No, Canada is not a Racist Country, despite what the Liberals say". After a family of four in London was run over by a deranged white supremacist in London, simply for being Muslim, Rex decided that it would be a good time to publish a column about how everyone is racist to white people. Rex has this great habit of releasing the exact same column every year right after the first snowfall/cold snap. It goes something along the lines of "oh it's cold, the carbon tax must be working". I am sure he thinks he's funny, which is probably the most pathetic thing about him.

Rex also has a strange obsession with Greta Thunberg. Again, I think he's trying to be funny but he grossly misunderstands how much everyone just wants to laugh at the little goblin-man with the bad ideas, not with.